There May Be A Reason You Always Feel Upset

July 27, 2022 Emily Rose

Okay, for starters, just because something is common or normal does not mean it’s healthy. Do plenty of people suffer from negative feelings and emotions, yes. Does that mean it’s okay? Heck no. When you become addicted to negative emotions, you begin to run on an internal program that takes away joy, happiness, and the silver lining that gives reason to everything; you know the one phrase “everything happens for a reason”. These thought patterns can easily become an addiction because we are habitual beings, and it’s common for us to get stuck in old patterns molded out of trauma, stress, fear, and loss. Again, just because this is “normal” does not mean it’s healthy. So, what do we do with a negative emotion or thought that ruminates and swirls around our brain like a tornado? We start by getting to the root cause of the issues, unraveling the thoughts and emotions to their core, and from there, we learn new ways of being.

Why Do People Get Addicted To Negative Emotions?

There is a well somewhere with all the knowledge and understanding of why any person at any given time gets’ addicted to negative feelings; lucky for you, I’m collecting these into what I like to call “umbrella terms” that give rise to why these addictions happen in the first place, but first, I want to point out something you may not be aware of that is truly the foundation of all these terms.

When we are looking for balance in the body, we are looking at 3 core constructs that need to be addressed, physical, chemical, and emotional. Now, these are not isolated events; they all speak and connect with one another. For example, if there is a history of physical abuse, the body will somatically hold that trauma until it has been taught that it is safe to release it, that physical pain will then connect with emotional pain, and then the emotional pain will disrupt the chemicals in your body, make sense? Using this example, the physical pain will lead to heightened cortisol levels, ongoing highest cortisol levels start to lead to the body becoming addicted to the chemical, and in turn, creating a more negative mindset, thought process, or emotions, and this doesn’t have to happen in this order for the outcome to affect all three, physical, chemical and emotional. It could start with emotional, proceed to chemical, and then manifest in the physical. There is no one way that trauma cultivates; it’s a cocktail of experiences, perceptions, and circumstances.

Doubt/Lack of trust: This behavior is almost always linked to a past experience; for this one, let’s look at two examples. The first example is one where a child is happy and joyous, and their authority figure is miserable and carries negative language patterns; the child then picks up on these patterns and then plays them out in their own life. Being shown that adulthood is a soul-sucking experience that is dull and lacks luster, the child begins to believe the same, becoming riddled with doubt, and away their little joy goes as a dark rainy storm cloud begins to wash over them. The second example is a teenager who has a dream of becoming an entrepreneur. They want to be their own boss and create their own hours. They spend most of their high school years coming up with ideas and products that the market has a need for; unfortunately, they are all a flop. When they become an adult, they struggle with their self-esteem as they continue to “fail” and eventually give up and feel as though they cannot trust themselves or the universe/god /goddess to help them on their path. Okay, so what’s happening in both of these scenarios is doubt that joy and success are achievable, as well as a lack of trust in what is possible. And in case you are new here, failure is a GOOD thing. Failure is how we learn and innovate; it’s how we find what truly works, and if you struggle with negative thoughts because your parents taught you this behavior? Guess what, that’s not your shit. They projected their issues onto you, and it’s not your job to hold onto it.
Protection: This can really piggyback on the previous umbrella term. When we have a subconscious part of us that has experienced a loss of joy, or loss of a friend or partner, both in life and as a separation, this part can begin to protect us from losing anything ever again. So what does this part do? It wants you to experience sadness, ad grief, and dullness. It does not want you to experience pleasure because it believes that the feeling of depression is easier than enjoying something or someone just to lose it/them. So turn, we have a negative langue that develops in order to protect the native from harm; the problem is that life isn’t worth living if we arn’’t willing to lose something. All good things come to an end, but that is simply the circle of life. Would you rather have never seen the ocean on a beautiful day just to see the dry sandy desert, or would you be happy to have even just one experience that your memories can expand on? Life is too short for us to be letting our parts protect us in a negative way, bless their hearts; they are trying, but they are only running on trauma programming; they need to learn something new that helps them benefit in a healthy way.
Identity: When someone begins to identify with their trauma, it becomes their story, and they begin to carry it around with them like a bag of potatoes, heavy on their back as they slouch just to gain the muster to keep going. We could compare this to a pop culture reference. Let’s take celebrities, for instance, some celebrate “identify” with being a celebrity; they use it to get into nice restaurants, not to have to audition for movies, and to get out of crimes they have committed. Other celebrities stay out of the spotlight. Yes, they may be musicians, actors, or performers of some kind, but they see that as their jo; in their free time they have hobbies, they don’t use their status to get a leg up in life, they do not identify with being a celebrity. They identify with being a human who just so happens to have a rare job that seems prestigious to the public. See the diffrence? Alright, so going back to trauma, when we heal our wounds, we know where we came from, what we have mended, and choose to move forward to live happier healthier lives. However, when souls continue to perpetuate trauma, play the victim, and identify with being a “badass bitch” or “This is who I am; it’s not my fault people can’t handle me” or “everyone is out to get me, and I can’t trust anyone” kind of person, clearly there’s an addiction to toxic negative feelings. They glorify these negative emotions and opinions by making them look cool or tough. But it’s not; it’s just sad. I see you, struggling to be seen, and I mean truly seen for who you are. I see the pain that you are hiding from the world as you pretend to have it all together and puff up your chest in ritual to show everyone who’s boss. This doesn’t have to be your identity, your identity could be someone is vulnerable, someone who has hobbies and interests that are serving and align with your values. This is a tough one to break, but it is by no means impossible. Finding the right practitioner will allow you to break free from the chains that you have put on yourself.
Self-sabotage: A lack of worthiness. They don’t believe they deserve nice things or nice people because they always mess it up somehow. These folks tend to have an error in their memories or perception of the world in relation to their thoughts and the lens in which they use. Everyone else around them can see so clearly the beauty in nature, a specific event, or even a person, and this one individual creates untrue, unrealistic conclusions that distort their reality and spill over into the joy of others. When this is in extreme dysfunction, some people become an energy vampire, sucking on joy and wanting everyone to sit in their misery with them as they replay their trauma over and over again, paying the victim and looking for validation in their dysfunctional view of the world. Now, this is not generalized self-sabotage; this is specifically in context to language. We all know someone who screams at other cars in traffic even though no one can hear them, or who are challenging to eat out with because they always find something to complain to the staff about, or even someone who finds something off-topic to complain about while in the most joyful setting. This is someone who is addicted to negative thinking.

This May Surprise You, But Positive Thinking Isn’t The Answer

We all know about the toxic positivity movement because it’s been around for some times now. If you haven’t, you picked a great post tp read because we are going to dive into why “positive thinking” is not the answer.

My friends, everything is not all “love and light”. This is fucking toxic, and unfortunately, it’s masking deep-rooted issues, promoting disassociation, and prolonging the healing of emotional wounding. We live in a universe of duality, light and dark, happy and sad, and when we choose to swing to one side of the pendulum and completely ignore our emotions and bodies' needs, we dishonor ourselves. Just like, when we sit in complete negative emotions without joy, we dishonor ourselves. The solution is not to think positively, the solution is root cause healing and the silver lining. Root cause healing is about finding the origin of the problem and healing it from the foundation up; sounds great, right? Yeah, I know. And the silver lining is a mindfulness method. It’s a practice of noticing the good and not only the bad. So, for instance, let’s say you have a friend cancel plans with you, and you’re upset, but deep down, your subconscious really wanted to have some personal time; there is a message there. the universe has your back and makes the time for you. This does not apply to all things. For instance, there is rarely a silver lining to death unless someone we love has passed and is not free from pain. Most other instances just simply are. There’s no running from the loss or the grief, and these feelings are in no way bad at all. In fact, we SHOULD be feeling our feelings; the problem is that to many dam people are hiding their true feelings under toxicity within positive or negative dysfunction.

So Who Can Help You Release These Negative Thought Patterns?

There are several different types of methods that work in this field of negative thoughts, and within these methods, there are hundreds of thousands of practitioners who all have their own values and belief structures that play into how they show up in their community. So I am going to list a few of these methods, as well at the practitioner that I personally recommended. For starters, you may be thinking that I am going to list off a ton of different therapists for you to go to, and you would be wrong. Even though I will list a few people who work in mental health, I will also list those who work on gut health and nutrition. Why you may ask? Well, the gut directly affects the brain and the chemicals your body produces, ad I believe in whole-body healing. So these recommendations will be best suited when paired with one another. I will also be recommending a physical therapist who works with your pelvic floor. This is for both men and women because, if you didn’t know, all humans have a pelvic floor. Why is this so important, you may ask? Well, our pelvic floor is directly connected to the after of our nervous system. Ever heard of the root chakra? The foundation of security? Yep, when our pelvic floor is out of whack, so is our chemical makeup. So let’s start with her. Gina Inglese Only is located in Portland, Oregon, and quick FYI; she is only taking in-person clients. If this interests you, look into your local area and see what practitioners resonate with your personality and needs. If you want help with what questions to ask them, reach out to me by clicking here, and I’ll help you come up with a list of foundational questions unique to your needs. Next, we have Christy Nault. Christy work with root causing healing for the female physiology. She works virtually, so you can work with her no matter where Inglese you are in the world. Her focus is nutrition, hormones, parasites, and microdosing. Seriously, her work should be paired with any mental health practitioner you see if you are a female, she will change your life. As for mental health, I suggest Hypnotherapy with a practitioner who facilitates parts integration and regression. The reason for this is deep-rooted healing that works subconsciously to heal core problems causing a ruckus in your life. If this interests you, look no further! My name is Emily Rose Wheeler, and I work with my clients at 90-minute intervals. I help my clients with negative thought patterns, stress, anxiety, depression, and nervous system regulation. I work virtually so I can meet my clients wherever they are. If you are looking for something that your insurance will cover, the best therapeutic process I have found in the world of traditional therapy is Inner Family Systems. The process is similar to hypnosis in the sense that they work with parts integration and somatic experiences; the diffrence lies in the number of sessions you will need and how the practitioner guides the sessions. There is still a lot of talking that happens with the conscious mind, whereas hypnotherapy is strongly focused on subconscious relearning.

Finding practitioners that work on root cause healing will be your solution regardless of what resonates with you. Do they use Band-Aid methods like supplements and medications? Do they recommend diets and testing? These are not fixing the root cause. I promise you that. Always ask questions and stay aware of who you choose to work with folks!

Mystic Rose Medicine

There May Be A Reason You Always Feel Upset

Why Do People Get Addicted To Negative Emotions?

This May Surprise You, But Positive Thinking Isn’t The Answer

So Who Can Help You Release These Negative Thought Patterns?

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