Get Over Your Ex With Hypnosis

June 8, 2022 Emily Rose

Breakups are messy. Even if there is a clean break, the heart still hurts from the loss. Taking some time to grieve, and reflect allows the mind + body + spirit to process the change and cope with the hurt, but what if things aren’t getting better? What if time is passing and you are still carrying the baggage from your ex? This isn’t uncommon, especially for those who have a hard time being alone, struggle with addiction, have a strong abandonment wound, or feel that they can’t surrender the need to control (aka a type-A personality). If this resonates with you, then I may have the solution to helping you mend the metaphorical hole in your heart.

What is Hypnosis?

Let’s begin with what hypnosis is not because some of you may be reading this in order to “forget” your ex or instantly heal your heartbreak. This process is not a one-in-done fix. Many people assume that hypnosis “makes” you do things. That it will make you stop smoking, make you lose weight, make you not fear creepy crawly things, I’m sorry to tell you, that’s not how it works. As humans living on this plain, we all have free will. It’s one of the finest experiences of being human. With free will, we have a choice, either consciously or subconsciously. So when someone wants to eliminate fear, that means that some part of them is willing to do so. Hypnosis allows for deep subconscious exploration, where we find the solution within. It’s not me, the hypnotist telling you what to do; rather, it’s you finding the solution and healing the wound with the power of your own mind. I am simply a guide; you lead the way.

It’s not a trick or mind manipulation; it’s a therapeutic way to heal on a subconscious level so that all parts of you are congruent and working together for your benefit. Erasing someone from your memory is not a part of this process, but you can learn about your emotional wounded connected to your last partner and heal them so that you learn more about your worth and authenticity.

Hypnosis dissolves limiting beliefs and old thought patterns. It helps you discover where behavioral and emotional patterns come from and allows you to mend them. It has been shown to produce profound effects on the human senses, allowing you to understand yourself in multidimensional ways. It produces a transcendent state where you feel empowered to release beliefs that no longer serve you, restore that which has been lost, & step into your authentic self.

How Does Hypnosis Work?

For starters, let's get into the science of the brain. Different parts of the brain effectively produce different functions. Science shows us that creativity is associated with the default mode network, while logic is associated with the executive control network. The default mode network is most helpful when it comes to expressive and creative duties. This includes reading the feelings of others, appreciating artwork, writing music, and tapping into our intuition. On the other hand, the executive control network is essential for processing reason, speech, and analytical argumentation. It's great at remembering numbers and critical thinking.

Now, our brains function in a state of both logic and emotion every day; however, when we enter transcendent states, our brain begins to work in separate areas of function rather than working as one. The executive control network takes a break, and the default mode network activates. When this happens, we naturally enter brain wave patterns that move away from doing and into feeling. How does this happen, you may ask? It’s all about our brainwaves. Hypnosis is a process of moving through different patterns to get to a deep subconscious state of being where healing becomes easy, like the way the tide rises in and out to sea. It doesn’t mean it’s quick or instantaneous; there are always layers to our suffering. What it does mean is you won’t spend 3 years in therapy trying to get to the root cause of the problem.

Four types of brain waves can occur at any given time in the brain. Gamma cycles at 38-42 Hz per cycle, Beta from 12-38Hz, Alpha 8-12 Hz, Theta 3-8Hz per cycle, and Delta at .5-3 Hz per cycle.

Gamma brainwaves are the fastest brain waves that cycle at a very high frequency. The function is to simultaneously process information from different aspects of the brain. Gamma waves allow the brain to pass data rapidly and silently. This brain wave is cultivated when the mind is still and quiet. For this reason, it is speculated that Gamma changes the perception of perceived reality. It is linked to spiritual emergence, sacred connection, and raised consciousness. The scientific reason for this is that Gamma Waves are strongly connected to the visual cortex, which stimulates the full potential of the mind's capabilities. For instance, extreme focus, increased creativity, and close attention to the body. In fact, Neuroscientists who study electrical frequencies in the human brain have repeatedly discovered Gamma Waves in those to be considered expert meditators. As they report experiencing deep feelings of peace, tranquility, and relaxation.

Beta brainwaves are responsible for a normal waking state of "doing." This is the most common state of being for most humans. It’s our day-to-day experiences, the hamster wheel of life. Our brains are alert, observant, and attentive.

Alpha brainwaves occur when we aren’t focusing on anything in particular. It's a state of relaxation in response to something simple like walking around the block, dusting shelves, or putting on your shoes. Imagine your mind without thought. Some of you may be thinking… “my mind is never without thought; what the fuck are you talking about?”. I assure you that even thou constant thinking is common, it is not normal. Our minds do have times when there is no worry, concern, thought, or even emotion. We just are. This can also be associated with quiet, easeful meditation. We just exist in these moments; this is the Alpha brainwave at work.

Theta brainwaves happen when we are in deep reflection. Not judgment but an internal observation. It's a gateway for the subconscious mind to learn new habits quickly, access memories, and connect to your intuition. As your sense of reality shifts from the external world to your inner world. You surrender your "monkey mind" with all its thoughts and judgments and enter the present moment. With nowhere else we need to be, nothing else we need to do. It's a state of relaxed detachment from all things concrete as we move into our personal perceptions of reality and consciousness as a whole. In this state, you are still you, still present, still aware. In fact, you are more aware of your internal environment than when you are in any other brainwave pattern we’ve talked about so far.

And last but not least, we have Delta brainwaves. We don't really know scientifically what's happening to our brain when we are in this realm. It's the deepest state you can go into in Hypnosis. It holds what people call the superconscious mind, infinite intelligence, and the collective unconscious. Most who reach Delta have no conscious awareness and come back into Beta with very little memory recall from experience. It's like you’re off somewhere else. However, some have been able to remain conscious in Delta, but you should know that this takes practice. Every once in a while, I will bring a client down into Delta if their critical mind is resistant to surrendering to the process. But more often than not, Theta is more than deep enough to do the healing work.

What Happens During Hypnosis?

During a hypnotherapy session, you enter a state of heightened awareness. I will ask you to experience your heartbreak and find the root cause of the issue. And you may be thinking, the issue is that “I miss my ex”, but I promise you it’s much deeper than that. There are layers to our grief. Sometimes it’s more simple than just missing someone. If it is taking you years to get over someone, there is a deep-rooted emotional wound there that didn’t begin with your ex, it’s not that superficial. Think of an onion feel. Layers upon layers that build on top of one another. This is exactly how I would compare trauma or emotional wounding. When we find the root cause, we are to bring awareness to what needs to be mended and nurtured.

This process is a collaboration between you and a hypnotherapist. It’s not you zoning out or having someone fix you. It’s you going deep and learning new patterns and ways of being so that you can heal and become whole. This will allow your mind to see your situation under a different set of beliefs, emotions, and thoughts. You will never be asked to do anything against your will. By following the prompts to move towards more productive ways of being, your subconscious negative patterns are replaced, and you’ll soon see yourself enjoying the benefits of a more complete sense of self.

Can Hypnosis Make You Forget Someone?

The quick answer is NO. There’s no such thing as brainwashing or memory-erasing, nor is it ethical by any means. While studies show that it’s possible to actively forget a memory, the same is not true when there is a strong emotional connection to the memory. Chances are, you have a strong emotional connection to your rex, which means that forgetting them is not the answer; healing the wounds around them and learning the lessons, however, is.

So what’s possible with hypnotherapy? Hypnosis can help you change how you perceive those emotional memories. Our memories are complex. One memory will lead to another set of memories and associations; when you think of expelling an ex, you block out big portions of your mental history, which leans you with gaps. Some minds do this naturally when experiencing trauma. Those who have a hard time remembering their past tend to dissociate. This is a coping mechanism, and again, just because it is common does not mean it is normal or healthy. We should be remembering things, healing those memories, and taking the lesson we have learned to serve us in the future. When we block them out, we do ourselves an injustice and block our healing patterns from cultivating. It causes us to perpetuate and re-experience our pain. We may not be really dwelling on the specific memories, but we would always remember (or be triggered) by the negative emotions, either consciously or subconsciously.

Then How Can Hypnosis Help Me?

As humans, we are adaptable and flexible, the same is true for our minds. They are open to learning new ways of thought and susceptible to suggestions when delivered correctly to each unique individual. Because of this, we can change how we perceive our memories. W can alter them to become lessons> We can see others involved in our memories and their trauma as well, which creates a sense of observation. We no longer see someone else as hurting us; we see their pain and who hurt them. We begin to realize we are not singles out and that they are perpetuating their trauma, just as we may be perpetuating ours. We do this by creating new associations and narratives to memories, even if they haven’t really happened in reality. The brain simply needs a wider lens rather than a new one entirely. While it can’t help you forget about the person, it can help change how you remember the memories associated with the person. In due time, you will change your thought patterns related to the person, and you’ll find that they become a simple drop in your memory rather than the whole ocean.

Need Help Releasing The Emotional Baggage Of Your Ex? I Can Help.

Hi, I’m Emily Rose Wheeler. I work primarily with those who have experienced trauma, and just for some context, trauma can look like: Family secrecy, depression, anxiety, shame, fear, isolation, guilt, addiction, divorce, childbirth, and violence. We cannot outrun our past hoping to create something new without acknowledging & healing what has happened. One way or another, trauma finds a way to be heard, validated & seen. In many cases, its expression is harmful to our friends, loved ones & partners. It can cause us to feel unworthy of love, untrusting of others, & lean into unhealthy codependency. We see this play out as self-sabotaging behavior, the judgment of the self & others, & of course, a lack of self-security. These traumas either build up strong cement walls to detach & protect or lead to a lack of boundaries with an anxious attachment. But I'm here to tell you, seeing them isn't enough. That is just the first chapter in your personal book of healing. Transformational work comes from teaching the nervous system how to cope in triggering situations properly. Healing is always possible, & what works for one soul may not work for another. It's all about finding what's right for you, lending yourself grace, & integrating new ways of being.

If you are struggling with any of these expressions of trauma, reach out. It doesn’t take years or hours of talking about your feelings. It does take time and is not a magic trick, but it will help you heal in unimaginable ways. If you would like to get to know more about me, Click Here to be taken to my story. If you want to explore my services, values, and methods, Click Here to be taken to my hypnosis page, and if you’re thinking, “This is so cool, and I have questions about how to work with you,” then Click Here to be taken to my scheduling page where you can book a free 20-minute clarity call to get to know one another. I’m happy to lend any resources I have to your journey and answer any questions about Hypnosis.

With Love, Emily Rose Wheeler

Mystic Rose Medicine